i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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