And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize