JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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