I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
