just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
