We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
