His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
