So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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