It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize