he wants to bone in the snuggie
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
