the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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