About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
they need to just BURY HIM!
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
