Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
