Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
