you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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