haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize