If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
