she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
