Do you still have your period?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
