thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
