i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
