i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
