Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize