I love black thongs
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There's always time for handjobs
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
