Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
