My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
