I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
