Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
