In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I deserve this hangover.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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