I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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