brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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