NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
