the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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