Girls should come with a carfax report
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
