erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
