Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I need moral support for this bender
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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