normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize