as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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