I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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