should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
