see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
