My friends, they love my intelligence
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
