so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize