dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
