this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize