My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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