i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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