Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
