That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
