I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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