you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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