margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
