ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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