the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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