eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
