i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Randomize
